Going through a divorce is one of the most challenging things you’ll ever have to do in your adult life, but the toll it takes on children can be even worse. There’s a lot of myth surrounding children from separated homes as well as a few facts that parents need to know.
More importantly, parents must focus on raising a happy child once the separation is over. It’s not an impossible task, but it takes a little understanding and know-how. Here’s how you can ensure your child is happy after a divorce.
Divorce Isn’t Traumatizing
Over the past 40 years, studies increasingly show that there are no long-lasting effects in roughly 80% of children whose parents divorce. This majority adapts to the situation well, showing no negative impacts on their grades, mental health, or social adjustment.
Cambridge University professor and child developer expert Michael Lamb conducted a meta-study in 2012, analyzing over 1,000 studies on childhood adjustment spanning four decades. His findings concluded that children grow normally when they have two adults who get along. However, those two adults do not have to be married or even living together.
Children in married homes where their parents are constantly in conflict develop issues, whereas children from divorced homes remain fine as long as they have quality relationships with each parent and their basic needs are met.
It’s natural for you and your former spouse to not get along, but it’s also natural to put your children first. Creating cooperative relationship from the ashes of your marriage is vital to the wellbeing of your children. According to a San Francisco divorce lawyer, parents who establish co-parenting structures make the divorce process simpler while giving their children the ultimate benefit.
Parents should take this new phase in their lives as a challenge to better themselves. Becoming a single parent forces you to focus on your skills in the role and better support your child’s development. It helps you realize your personal strengths as a caregiver, teaches you how to create positive moments with your child regardless of your love life, and helps you develop new routines that are beneficial to the both of you.
With both parents working through being single and further developing their parenting skills, your children now have two strong individuals giving them all the care they need. By working together, you’re also reinforcing positive social development within your child.
Readjusting to Life Changes
Believe it or not, you’re going to have a more difficult time adjusting to the divorce than your child. Children whose parents work together for their benefit ultimately end up getting more out of life. Their support groups widen, their family time is doubled, and they retain the benefit of two adults who love them.
Even better, they are removed from the hostility of a bad marriage. Ask any divorce attorney, children handle the process as if they were veteran divorcees thanks to their innocence and loving nature. There will be an adjustment period, but you can raise a happy child after a divorce with ease. All it takes is a little cooperation.